While making more ghee and between cups of coffee I have been trying to do crossword puzzles lately because I want to exercise my brain. Crossword puzzles and coffee, I am becoming my mother. Anyway, I thought I didn’t like crossword puzzles when I used to watch my mother doing them because they had a lot of arcane references to movie stars or events in history that far preceded my birth. I mean it seems like the target audience is 70 year olds when I know very well the target audience is 50 er 60-65 year olds. Also, they always seemed to have a mix of overtly obvious clues such as “yes” being the answer to the clue “affirmative” and oddly obscure clues like “tobermory topper” as a clue for “tam”. Huh?? I had some internal fear that this combination of the sometimes clever or arcanely erudite and alternately mind numbing dullness would result in me being caught off guard like I was with tricky exam questions or the silly math problems my brother’s friends would ask about children getting on and off buses when the answer had something to do with the color of the bus driver’s eyes. However, now it is all too clear that my “hurumph” is preceded by an abundance of clues about compass directions, the words “aide”, “err”, “lass” or “lad” and how many times can they recycle clues for “roe”. I think there is an insidious Scottish and fish egg connoisseur bias. I think I will take my Scottish ancestry (in a family that NEVER used the word lad or lass) and my non-fish eating self on to other games, like Scrabble. But alas (having no etymological relation to lass) I end up with the even more sinister computer Scrabble genius/megalomaniac that itself uses words like “laksdfjasdkjf” for 180 gazillion points (maybe that is the Nordic spelling for something) and plainly obscure words like “auxin”. And you cannot add “r” to my “false” for “falser” unless you are 3 years old! It also does computer-throwee-outee the window words like jade for 44 trazillion points up against my “colors” for unfair combinations of “jo” and “al”. Then there are the completely non-existent words like “tirl” employed and yet the computer evil invisible monster has the gall to declare my use of “subtle” or “export” as illegal. Hurumph! Maybe I should just work on Madlibs, at least in that game I get to choose all of the words.