For those unfamiliar with the garden yoga poses previously posted I will elaborate. It took me so long to find a way to be able to post those figures that I thought I might actually achieve nirvana first. I am not the most savvy with online posting, so I intuited my way into thinking in pictures. I found PNG, whatever that is, but it is not a ping, which may be something like sending the bees from my garden over to yours, and not to be confused with pinterest- a path to exponential self-imitating replication. Or maybe I have those backwards. Ultimately, I manifested all my creative powers and finally a few stick figures could appear in multiple virtual realities.
Back to the yoga.
Vegetable salutations– self-explanatory for any conscientious gardener. Salutations and their accompanying inspections are conducted on a regular basis and involve gazing at all vegetable matter from far and then close-up, then far again. We don’t know exactly what we are looking for, but we will know it when we see it. Entire mornings can pass by in this meditative asana. Breathe normally, eyes focused on the green things. Chant: hmmm.
Reaching into blackberries warrior 3– Using all the thigh strength you can muster, balance danger and potential rewards, stretching mentally and physically. Long deep breathing. Eyes are focused on the berries and the thorny branches centimeters from your face. Chant- I think I can, I think I can.
Weeding squats– Move down your garden rows stooping and crawling crab-like while yanking at stubborn green things you have decided you don’t want, even though they grow stronger through your intentional neglect and inner anger.
Chant: laugh at yourself occasionally to confirm to the neighbors that you are crazy.
Breath: don’t stop breathing, even when you are pulling really hard. When your fingers cramp up, move on.
Training pole bean vine pose– Sometimes confused with caging tomato pose, however, caging tomato pose has the arms spread wide in disbelief.
For training pole bean vine pose (aka training pea pose) find your balance while taking shallow breaths of hope and wonder as you gently twist string or string thick shoots that will later hold a five pound plant vertically suspended for 3 months.
And, exhale.
If you succeed, your kundalini has awakened.
Distributing compost kriya– one of the best full body work-outs (fetching compost not pictured, but is certainly part of the exercise). Position your body as a scalene triangle (so as not to disturb the plants of course) while scratching in the dirt and depositing handfuls of dark rich matter that is neither chocolate nor coffee, but nonetheless makes you deliriously happy. Eyes- everywhere, the weeds, the plants, the compost, but place your awareness on the coffee waiting for you when you finish.
Removing Japanese Beetle series– can be combined with vegetable salutations.
An obscure series of positions that few outside of garden yoga understand. Removing Japanese Beetle series begins with forward bends, then twists the neck under and around leaves, followed by a powerful exhale as you squash or step on small insects whose zen-like consciousness endows them with the ability to distinguish between the plants you call weeds as sour and distasteful, and the plants you want as delicious and in need of some filigree work. Bless them for they are just trying to help you realize the principle of non-attachment. Listen to the Japanese beetles chant “Let it Be”.
Please comment and add your favorite poses. Really. It’s just me and the plants.
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